A person who's processing a difficult situation may simply need someone to listen to them. Saying you're available to listen to whatever they want to say shows that you notice their struggles and are there for support. It's not always easy for people to open up about their challenges, so being genuine and caring when you make this statement may put them at ease and encourage them to share.
Once you offer to listen, make sure you follow through with active listening. Avoid distractions like checking your phone, and avoid the temptation to jump in and solve the problem or challenge their thoughts. Even if you see the situation differently, the person's feelings are valid and reflect how they perceive the situation. Telling them that their feelings are wrong may cause them to shut down. Allowing the person to share what they want to tell you gives them a safe space to process their feelings. You might ask follow-up questions to encourage them to share more, but don't push them if they seem hesitant to share more.
Offering to pray for your neighbor is often well received if you live in a faith-based assisted living community under the Bethesda Senior Living Communities umbrella. Instead of simply telling the person you'll pray for them, consider asking specifically how you can pray over the situation. This helps you personalize the prayers based on how the situation is affecting the other person.
You might also ask more detailed questions to guide your prayer, such as what the most challenging part about the situation is or what type of outcome or relief they want. Then, you can pray about those specific things on behalf of your neighbor.
This option expands on praying for the person. It can show them they're not alone, which can help ease the burden they feel. Praying together may help them feel comforted and supported by hearing the words in your heart. They're growing closer to God and asking for his help, even if they can't come up with the right words in the moment. You're showing empathy and letting your neighbor know you're there for them.
Sharing Bible verses and stories with someone who's facing a challenge may help them find comfort. God's word often reminds people to lean into their faith when they're struggling. Consider what you know about the person's situation and research Bible passages that speak to that situation. There are many Biblical figures who showed resilience and whose stories might resonate with your neighbor. You can simply recommend specific verses or offer to discuss them, but avoid making them participate in a conversation that makes them uncomfortable.
You can't usually solve the problem for your neighbor or friend, but you can offer them support in other ways. That could be as simple as listening to or praying for the person. Distracting them by taking them out for coffee might be what they need. If they're dealing with a medical condition that requires treatments, they might want someone to go along with them to the appointments.
Asking how you can support them encourages them to think about what they need. You might not know exactly what the situation entails, so it's not always easy to offer specific help yourself. However, some people don't want to ask for help or feel like they're asking for too much. In other situations, they may feel too overwhelmed to know what type of help they need.
If you know your neighbor could use help, you might offer specific forms of support. Many of their care needs are covered by the assisted living team. They don't need to worry about preparing meals or getting help with their personal care tasks, for instance. The support they might need most is emotional and spiritual. If they're grieving the loss of a loved one, you might offer to sit with them in the evenings if you know that's when they feel the loneliest, for example. Offer multiple suggestions and continue checking in, as the person's needs for support may change over time.
Avoid any comments that downplay the person's situation or suggest they should move on quickly. Many well-intentioned people tell others everything happens for a reason, which often isn't comforting in a moment of grief or upset. Stay away from comments about other people facing more difficult situations or telling them they'll be fine. Validating their feelings and allowing them to express their emotions without telling them they're wrong is often the most supportive option.
