Respite Care: How Caring for Yourself Is Not a Selfish Act

Respite services are short-term care options that allow primary caregivers, often family members, to take a break. The concept of respite care is often misunderstood by loved ones who are trying their best to provide an older adult with a loving, supportive environment and family care. Leaving Mom, Dad or another loved one in respite care can feel like giving in to selfish needs, but that’s far from the case.

Common Reasons to Use Respite Care

Caregivers turn to respite care to help reduce burnout, ensure safe care for their loved one and balance life obligations with family care situations. Here are some common scenarios where respite care works well:

• The family caregivers need a break. Around 44% of family caregivers are providing support in high-intensity situations. They’re dealing with stressful medical or care needs, supporting other family members, trying to work jobs or meeting other obligations — all while keeping everyone as healthy and safe as possible. Sometimes, they simply need to rest.
• Family caregivers have travel plans. Caregivers may want to take a vacation or travel for a wedding. They may have business travel obligations.
• A primary caregiver has medical needs of their own. If a primary caregiver gets sick or needs to have a medical procedure, they may not be able to attend to care duties.
• Others within the family or community are in need. Adult children might balance care for parents with care for children, or another family member may need temporary help after a medical procedure or other life event.

Misconceptions About Respite Care

Respite care is often misunderstood. Common misconceptions include:

• Respite care is only for emergencies. While respite care can be a literal lifesaver in emergency situations, it often works best when it’s used as part of a planned approach to ongoing, sustainable care. Plus, when you regularly rely on respite care to support safety and security for you and your loved one, it’s less traumatic and stressful if you have to use it in an emergency. It’s already a familiar routine.
• Respite care doesn’t fit your needs. Respite care isn’t one-size-fits-all. You can customize the length of the respite care stay, the type of care provided and even where the care is provided to meet your loved one’s needs.
• Using respite care means you abandon your loved one. Considering respite care options carefully and arranging for appropriate care as needed is an act of love, not an act of abandonment.

Caring for Yourself Helps You Better Care for Others

Some family caregivers don’t consider respite care because of guilt feelings. They may believe leaving their loved one in someone else’s care is selfish. But the reality is that serving as a primary caregiver 24-7 can actually be worse. If you believe you’re the only one who can care appropriately for someone or that others may think you’re not a good person if you take a break, you might put yourself, your older loved one and others in dangerous situations trying to do it all alone.

Respite care offers a practical way for you to take care of yourself and attend to the needs of your own body and mind (or attend to other family or work obligations). When you’re able to take time away from care duties to handle such things, you can come back refreshed or more focused on your older loved one. You’re less likely to make medication errors, act out of frustration or avoid day-to-day tasks because you’re too tired or burned out.

If you’re a family caregiver, reach out to resources near you to find out about respite care. You may be surprised at how affordable, versatile and caring they can be.